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One Side: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She creates video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest helping her create material.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an audience. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: observing the details, posting them with an audience that values the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends support one another in small ways. I thought recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value our friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She needs to respect her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?